Do's & Don'ts for Divorced Couples with Children

Although having to get divorced from your spouse is an unfortunate experience, it is important to make sure that the divorce doesn’t negatively impact your children. In this blog, we explain what divorced parents should and shouldn’t do.

What You Should Do

  • Contain any hostility you have towards your spouse in front of your children. Children who hear their divorced parents argue are more likely to have problematic behavior in the future.
  • Discuss with your ex how to create a healthy co-parenting relationship after your divorce.
  • Try to be on the same page as your former spouse when it comes to rules for the children. Bedtime, homework, amount of screen time, and curfew are just a few things to consider.
  • If you and your ex are having difficulty coming to an agreement about rules and consequences for your child, you should consider attending parenting classes or family therapy.
  • Reassure your children that they did not do anything to cause you and your ex to get divorced. Children tend to feel guilty when parents get divorced, so reassuring them that the divorce was not their fault can help them feel more comfortable in their new situation.
  • Let your children know that both parents will always love them and will continue to spend time with them too.

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Don’t recruit your child or force them to choose between you and your spouse.
  • Do not talk badly about your ex in front of your children. Instead, you should make an effort to say positive things about your former spouse.
  • Avoid speaking negatively about your spouse’s extended family. Your children will still see their grandparents and cousins, so speak positively about these people.
  • If your children are under the age of 12, you shouldn’t make direct plans or arrangements with them. Always discuss your plans with the other parent as soon as possible.
  • Do not screen calls from your ex-spouse or limit your children’s access to speaking with them.
  • Your children are not messengers, so don’t use them to communicate with your ex on your behalf.
  • Although you might be curious about your ex’s lifestyle, you should never ask your children to spy or to be your informants.

Are you currently going through a divorce? We can help. At Family Law San Diego, our team of lawyers can review your case and determine your best path forward. We offer professional legal services that are tailored to your particular needs.

Contact our La Mesa team of attorneys to discuss your case today.