Father hugging daughter

Who Gets the Kids for the Holidays?

As the holidays approach, families of divorce may find this time of year to be stressful when figuring out a visitation schedule that works for both the parents and the children. While it may seem impossible to come to a compromise that pleases everyone, there are ways to make the process less challenging and more amicable. The purpose of this blog is to provide helpful insight for deciding who will get the kids for the holidays.

How to Compromise on Holiday Plans After Divorce

Agree on the Big Picture First

Before you and your ex-partner start haggling over the details, it is essential to agree on the big picture. Start by asking yourselves these questions:

  • What are your holiday traditions?
  • What is your child's favorite holiday?
  • What option is the best one for your child?

Once you have answered these questions, you'll have a better sense of what's most important to both of you, so you can begin working on a plan that takes everyone's needs into account.

Put Your Child First

In any divorce, it's crucial to remember that your child's needs should always come first. So while you may have your heart set on hosting Thanksgiving this year, if it's going to cause your child undue stress or anxiety, it's not worth it. The key is to be flexible and willing to compromise. After all, the holidays are about family—including your ex-family.

Be Flexible

Try to be flexible and open-minded. It's important to remember that just because you're divorced doesn't mean that you can't spend holidays together as a family. If both parents are open to the idea, creating a holiday visitation schedule that works for everyone may be possible.

Be Respectful of Your Ex-Partner’s Wishes

Be respectful of your ex-partner's wishes. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say, but it's important to remember that they are entitled to their own opinion. It's important to remember that you're not the only one who has holiday plans. To devise a plan that works for everyone, you'll need to be willing to negotiate.

Consider Mediation

Mediation might be a good option if you and your ex can't seem to agree. A mediator is a neutral third party who can help facilitate discussion and help you find common ground. Plus, mediation is typically much cheaper and quicker than going to court. You can find a mediator in your area by visiting our mediation page.

Contact Our San Diego Divorce Mediators

If you and your ex-partner are having trouble finding common ground, our certified mediators at Family Law San Diego are here to help. Contact us online or give us a call (619) 577-4900.